Notes from a chaotic mind.

Creating my sacred space.

This past year has been a journey on so many levels.

A year ago, as a recent graduate, I was sure I was going to dedicate the majority of my time to working on projects and expanding my portfolio. Little did I know, that what I had explored and developed during my time at the course, was merely the tip of what I was about to embark on. I did actually spend a lot of time applying for opportunities and creating new projects, but I’ve also spent more time than I thought I would on this trip of self-discovery. Who knew all it needed was a year-long course and moving out of my childhood home to finally take this step?

It feels weird admitting this (also relieving), but during this past year, I might have, for the first time, actually listened to what Fran had to say, listened, understood and acted on what my mind and body were telling me. Let me explain. How often do we go about our daily routines doing things just because it’s what we need to do, what is expected and what is necessary? How often do we stop, and question “Why do I always pass from the same road to work if I can pass through another one?” or “Why do I make myself work 8-10 hours a day, if that’s not what my mind and body are up to doing?” and “Why do I make myself do things, just because I have been doing them for as long as I can remember?” Creature of habit?

I feel like I’m slowly learning to appreciate myself and my abilities - how my mind ticks, and what my feelings are. This has, at times, created an insane amount of questions but has also shed light on a number of aspects of my life. A way of uncovering this has been through writing - I’ve accepted that I am not a one-medium creative, I have way too much chaos going on in my noggin to stick to 1 idea, and 1 medium - sometimes all at once, sometimes none at all. I’ve stopped trying to look for ways my work, reflects my artistic persona, and seeing this as an issue rather than a super power. I am trying to focus on my state of mind at the time of creating my work, and allowing it to come out through my work on what feels right and not what should feel right.

Writing has been one such medium, I’ve got loads to say, but most days, I feel like writing it down has been the best way to say it. It’s something I’ve always done, but not practiced enough, and recently a very wise person suggested I utilise my words for therapeutic reasons, as well as a creative medium, so I said why not give this a go?

I am on a journey of embracing the chaos and all the thoughts that come with it and implementing it into my work. Sometimes it takes stopping yourself from overthinking a process and simply starting to make a mess.

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